The Darkest Hour Movie Review

by anna on January 4, 2012

in Anna's Blog

Last night with Ken we finally went to watch “The Darkest Hour” movie (in Russia was released under the name “Фантом” (“Phantom”).

A little digression. The reason I write about a movie in an art blog is that I do treat cinematography as an art; a movie theater to me is truly a theater. Therefore, people who eat and drink in there, pulling food out of huge foil bags, like they’re starving, as well as talking on their phones, reading and sending text messages, do incredibly annoy me. I consider such things to be sort of an insult to a movie creator, as well as a total lack of  any manners. To me it is a darkest hour when they start doing this. Guess, I’m too conservative.

Going back to the movie – “The Darkest Hour 3Dis better than “Nutcracker 3D“, which we saw last year. There is no dancing Hitler and suchlike nonsense in the movie.

I see it as a big plus that there’s no anti-Russian or anti-American attitude in the movie. For once the two nations are not fighting against each other. I would say it is anti-alien. The only negative character of human nature I’ve noticed is Swedish.

However, that would be about it in terms of pluses.

Movie’s minuses. Man, where do I start…

Aliens, which initially appear as something even interesting, are turned into a regular humanoid-shaped dudes.

First, the scenes where their view of surrounding world is shown, in my opinion, are completely lame. If they’re super-beings, why do they need eyes in the first place?

Second, the purpose of their visit to Earth – our well-advertised natural resources. With such technology as they allegedly have, why they even bothered to land? They could’ve done it all right from the space. Then, if they needed energy, why on Earth do they need Earth? The Sun is the primary source of energy in our system, not Earth. Read the basic astronomy, folks!

Third, by the second half of the movie, initially mysterious and almost invisible aliens are revealed as small yellow-eyed dark-skinned dudes sitting inside vintage-looking spinning capsules. That is simply pathetic!

Guess, to create an alien alien, one has to cast aside their human nature… Otherwise aliens will always be yellow-eyed dudes in vintage capsules.

Next, movie contains a number of obvious mistakes and inaccuracies. Here’s just some of them. First, the American embassy, to which main characters are trying to get so desperately, going a long distance, is actually right around the corner from their location. Guess, movie is made for people who’s never been to Moscow…

Second, one of the characters, Matvey, says that Moscow river flows to the north, although in reality it flows to the south. Guess, good ol’ geography is still important.

Third, the atomic submarine, parked on the river, is way too big to ever fit into the Moscow river. There’s a good reason these submarines don’t go there. I think somebody already pointed that out in the Russian version of Wikipedia article.

In addition, so much loved cat of the microwave gun inventor is left on his own after the inventor’s death. That’s pet care for ya. As my own cat crossed the ocean with me, I find this line to be rather upsetting.

In conclusion, I could go on and on, as movie does have a lot of other drawbacks. Apart from couple scenes, there’s no actual 3D in the movie. Crew had to shoot the movie in the midst of terrible summer Moscow smoke, so you want to say “Wipe the lens, man!” most of the time. Metro stations are all mixed up, with characters entering one and ending up on another. But I will stop. I think, folks did try to do a good job on this one. Maybe, they didn’t try hard enough. As a person born and raised in Russia, I do really want to praise the movie. However, I can’t.

We did survive the holidays. Let’s hope the next one will be better.

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